What do you think about homesickness
Homesickness: 6 practical tips against loneliness
Photographed by Ashley Armitage.
When I moved to another city for my studies, I always said: “I'm not homesick, I have favorite people sick”. It wasn't my old nursery or my Zac Efron poster that I missed. It was my friends and my parents.
When people say they are homesick, they rarely long for their parents' home or the village where they grew up. Most of the time, they are concerned with the interpersonal relationships and support they have been able to rely on for so long. But according to the founder of TAO Connect (Therapy Assistance Online) Dr. Sherry Benton these feelings are quite normal. “When you start studying or move to another city for a new job, every aspect of your life changes. It can be very difficult to start all over again, to build up a new social network and to settle in in a new place in such a way that you really feel comfortable. "
The school psychologist, education expert and liaison teacher Reena B. Patel agrees and adds that students often experience a honeymoon phase first when they start university. But a few weeks later, homesickness usually surprises her when the euphoria of the newly won freedom has evaporated and the allure of the new is over.
But no matter when the longing for the old home strikes - be it when you go to a foreign country as an au pair or Erasmus student or as an adult simply move to the next big city - you should be aware of one thing: it is okay to be sad and miss your mom! Even if you are officially an adult long ago. This is nothing to be ashamed of!
At first, homesickness can pull you down a lot. Chances are you'll feel pretty empty and drained. According to Benton, one reason for this may be that the new situation is stressful for your body. And that in turn can throw our brain, our nervous system, our entire body out of balance, says Benton. Fortunately, there are a few things you can do to prevent this - or at least to get through this sad phase faster and better.
Join a leisure group
Be it a book club or a sports club: Patel advises looking for a hobby and joining a leisure group. This way you can quickly find new friends and at the same time distract yourself from everything you are missing.
Don't go straight home
This tip applies to two different things. First, if you've moved anywhere near home, you might think it would be a good idea to go to see your parents and old friends every weekend. After all, homesickness can't be at allsoooget big right? Thought wrong! You will regularly remind yourself of what you are missing and do not even give yourself the chance to settle in in your new environment. So force yourself to go home less often and instead to do something in your new home - for example with other newbies who are just as happy as you.
Second, yes, it is tempting to go home straight after college or work. Just in time for the end of the working day, you may be drawn to your sofa in your new apartment, but you will only feel more lonely there. So it's best to go for a chat, because once you're home, you definitely won't be able to get yourself up again.
Nobody says you have to turn away from your old friends and family completely! Keep in touch with them, but at the same time be open to new people in your life. In other words: The next time the tears well up in your eyes while the credits of the last episode of your favorite series are running and this deep feeling of emptiness arises, you can call your mom. But the next time you text your new girlfriend from the gym on a Whatsapp and ask if she would like a coffee. Deal?
Plan your next visit
Patel says it is important to plan your next visit home early on and then write down the date in black and white. The next time you warm up a frozen pizza and long for Mommy's Bolo, you open the calendar and see that only a few more days / weeks have to last. Anticipation is and will always be the greatest joy.
Take some memories with you
Whether childhood photos, quilted bedspreads or fairy lights: Patel advises packing a few items with sentimental value in the moving boxes. In the new environment, they will help you feel at home faster. But don't overdo it. After all, such a move is the perfect reason to sort it out properly and to get rid of unnecessary ballast.
Focus on the positives
In the darkest moments, it can feel like you havevoluntaryexchanged your old beautiful life for a new stupid life. As if you could never be as happy as you were then. But according to Patel, it is extremely important to think positively about this new phase of life and about all the exciting things it could bring with it: "You are at the beginning of a great journey that will only make your life even more wonderful". So be proud of yourself that you dared to take this step, accept that there are sometimes sad moments and try to look confidently into the future. Then everything will be fine. And if not, you can always return home. And that would have nothing to do with giving up, by the way! But that's just by the way.
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