Why does the separation of love hurt more

Why does lovesickness hurt so much - and what helps?

Status: 08/28/2020 4:43 p.m.

Lovesickness is annoying - no matter how old we are. He throws us off track, some even have physical pain. Why is that and what can we do about it?

14 or 34 - breakups hurt. Those who have loved feel pain when that love is over. For some, emotional pain even turns into physical agony. Why are we feeling this way and what can we do to feel better again?

Love affects our bodies

Our hormone levels change in a love relationship: the brain releases more messenger substances such as oxytocin, serotonin and dopamine. The hormone oxytocin is responsible for trust and feelings of attachment, serotonin gives us a feeling of inner calm and dopamine is a happiness hormone. After a breakup, we suddenly have to cope without these hormones.

Separation is like withdrawal

This is why the end of love feels like a kind of withdrawal for many. Women in particular often experience physical symptoms such as abdominal pain, headache, insomnia and fatigue. There are even psychologists who recommend painkillers or sedatives as a first aid measure for lovesickness.

Lovesickness as a form of grief

Grief takes place in four phases. These phases also seem familiar to us from lovesickness. However, we all need to go through them at our own pace:

  1. Dont want to believe it
  2. Anger and despair
  3. Reorientation
  4. A new balance

You can do that against lovesickness

Take active care of yourself. In order to produce oxytocin, we need body contact, for example. A hug or massage from friends can help. If you don't have anyone to smooch, you can get your dopamine through exercise or by eating omega-3 fatty acids (for example in fish). Sex educator Anja Henningsen from Kiel University also swears by conversations:

It is important to note that there are others who have experienced this pain as well. The reflection of our feelings by others is a relief. Only once we understand our feelings through conversations can we then begin to process them.


Put an end to lovesickness!

Lovesickness after a breakup is completely normal. But why we shouldn't dwell on crying forever about our broken relationship - and how we can do it. more

This topic in the program:

N-JOY | Kuhlage and Hardeland - The N-JOY Morning Show | 06/22/2020 | 05:00 am