How do you personally deal with pessimism?
Bye, half empty glass! How best to deal with pessimists
You probably know her too. The nagging ones forever. The professional pessimists. The curmudgeons of this nation. The ones you wish good morning to and who answer you with a huge sigh. Don't you want to shake these people sometimes and yell in their faces, "Life is great! The sun is laughing! Everything is great!"?
Of course, nobody should be proselytized. But as a helper, as a friend, as someone who knows that the black thinkers will be better afterwards, you can very well do something. Get the dark thoughts of your friends and acquaintances at the collar and try to change their view of life. Here are your tools to do it. Because your project is truly honorable - if not easy.
Do not be a teacher
The phrase "Don't always be so negative" brings exactly nothing. That much should be clear by now. And you don't want to interfere in the lives of others without being asked. As is so often the case, the simple tactic of re-thinking in others helps. Then you realize: you wouldn't put up with that yourself either.
Watch out, mammoth!
Our brain has been trained since time immemorial to pay particular attention to the negative in life. Just to be safe and not to be eaten by the best mammoth. So it's no wonder that our brain is more sensitive to dangers, hardships and worries than to joy and relaxation. But luckily we can also trick the oh so negatively polarized brain a little. Through distraction, through arguments, through your own positive energy. Here are a few tricks in the competition against the evil, black thoughts of your environment, your friends, your colleagues or whoever:
let the sun shine in
Your good mood can be contagious. When you're fine, laugh, sing, dance, do what you want, but let it out. A good mood is contagious. Even pessimists. Your relaxed and funny manner will not be without consequences. Certainly.
Turn off your head
Negative thinking people mostly brood all day. They cannot come to terms with things, ask why, quarrel with their fate. And this way of thinking at some point spreads into all areas and has the effect that you can hardly get any more cheerful thoughts. If pessimists recognize that this is the case and at some point catch themselves doing it, then this is the first way to get better. And that's where we have to get the pessimist right. That he himself notices how differently he thinks, how one-sidedly negative. Not with a crowbar, but with small but fine hints.
Many negative people do not even notice how often they sigh, curse or moan to themselves. How negative all of their statements affect others. And you can point this out to a person who is close to you. In an open, honest conversation, in which you explain to him that these constant negative expressions drag down the entire environment. Including you. Pessimists are usually not even aware of this.
And if your personal pessimist wants to talk about his suffering, his anger or whatever, then talk openly when it doesn't suit you. Then say: "I'll call you later" or "We'd love to talk about it tomorrow, ok?". Sometimes you have to set limits when things are not doing you well.
If your pessimist only reports negative things to you, such as illnesses, worries, rainy trips and broken relationships, ask him what positive experiences he had on the trip despite the rain. Remind him of some nice things you've done together recently. There are hundreds of things and moments that even your pessimist has to admit that they were beautiful and pleasant.
Find the right moment
But don't stop at the first negative sentence and say: "But there were also nice moments!". But it is waiting for your commitment. Let the other person talk first and then try to make a quick change at the end of what he has said. To turn the conversation in a positive direction. If you try to do this directly with the first negative sentence, your black thinker will not be ready for your positive objections.
So if your friend only complains about their relationship, you should first listen carefully. When she has said what she wanted to say, expand the topic and steer it in other directions: ask her about good times with her boyfriend. Wasn't there your last vacation that was very relaxed? The new shared apartment?
We wish you the best of luck in spreading optimism!
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